May 21 2010

Make him fall for you! How to get your best friend to confess

Make him fall for you - The essential things to know


Last time we talked about the direct route to confessing to your best friend.

However maybe you feel the time’s not right or you’re not ready to tell him. Don’t worry, this is natural, however there are still some things you can do to help make him fall for you. This we can call the ‘make him fall for you‘ plan:

If he is your best friend, remember that he views you as a friend first and a girl second. So you have to make sure that he sees you as a girl first and a friend second. This will make it a lot easier for for him to confess to you if he likes you.

We’re trying to make him make the first move. I know this is especially hard as you are bursting inside to tell him your feelings.  Even if you are ready to confess sometimes it is a good idea to use this ‘indirect route’ to see how he reacts. Here is how to do it. Remember you’re trying to make him see you as a girl first and a friend second:

Body language is very important. Scientific studies have show that guys subconsciously pick up on body language signals so we can try to use this to our advantage!  Use these steps as guidelines:

Eye contact

  • Look him in the eyes when you speak to him. Not a psycho stare and don’t try to kill him with your eyes. Just a normal look for a bit longer than usual to keep eye contact. Guys are attracted to eye contact.

Touch him accidentally

  • Don’t be afraid to *accidentally* touch him. The Japanese/Koreans have something they call ‘skinship’ which is a combination of the words ‘skin’ and ‘relationship’. What ‘skinship’ means is building up a relationship with a person through touching them. This concept is quite popular in Japanese anime. Touch him on the arm, accidentally brush against his hand… help him remove a stray hair from his face or neck…. Your aim here is to build up more physical intimacy to make him realise that you are a potential girlfriend!

Set the scene

  • Make sure you get to spend time with him alone and that he’s not with his buddies.
  • Try to do things that a normal couple would do and before you know it the idea will be in his head that you two could be an item.
  • Use WhyArentWeDating. This will alert him to the fact that he’s got an admirer and put him in the mood thinking that he has a crush. He will think about who has sent him this and may speak to you about it. This gives you the perfect chance for you to hint to him that ‘the person who sent you this may be closer than you think!’

Wear sexy clothes!

  • When you know you two are going to be alone make sure you wear clothes which really make you look like a girl such as a skirt or dress.

These things make sure that he knows that you are a girl. It will put the idea in his head (if it wasn’t there before) that you are a potential girlfriend!  Also, your situation is hard enough already so don’t fall into these common traps:
Things NOT to do when trying to make your friend fall for you (When NOT to confess to a friend)

  • Don’t confess your love when he’s around his mates (he’ll feel uncomfortable).
  • Don’t tell him you’ve fallen for him do it right after he’s broken up with his gf.
  • Don’t act like you’re one of his guy friends. Don’t try to be one of the boys or he’ll never see you as a girl first!
  • Don’t talk to him about anything that might gross him out. Like … don’t tell him you have diarrhoea.

If he doesn’t react after a while or ask you out then you may still have to pluck up more courage and take the direct way to confess to your best friend.

Remember there is no set way to tell someone that you like them. When the moment feels right and natural then have courage and strike while the iron is hot! Remember that there is always a risk of rejection in everything that we do. I tend to be very positive though – if there’s a chance that you could be happy with him then go for it!

Good Luck!

WhyArentWeDating

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34 Responses to “Make him fall for you! How to get your best friend to confess”

  1. Bbear says:

    I’ve known this guy for about 5 years now. We started out as friends with benefits and now we’ve lived together for almost a year. He is my best friend and he claims I’m his best friend. We have the most amazing intimate life. He knows everything about me and I know everything about him. We share everything and get along great. I am completely in love with him. I am so happy when I’m with him. I’ve told him my feelings and he says that he has no romantic feelings and that we could never be together in that way. We kiss all the time and sleep together every night. It kills me that I know I can’t ever try with him. He’s told me in attractive so I don’t know why he refuses to consider a relationship with me. We’ve joked about how beautiful our babies would be and how great a couple we would make but he is serious about never dating me. It’s terrible. I want to get over these awful feelings so I don’t have to hurt anymore but they are relentless and painful! Please lend some advice, I’m all out of ideas.

    • admin says:

      Hello Bbear. I read what you wrote, I was asking myself how is that NOT a relationship? I mean, you’re living with him, there’s both emotional and physical intimacy, even mention of beautiful babies! I suggest you take a different tact: You don’t need to ask him to consider a relationship with you, because he is ALREADY in one with you, he just refuses to acknowledge it! which is really, really cruel! Perhaps for some reason, he hasn’t been able to make the mental leap, but you’ve got to make him realize that it IS a relationship already, and by denying all he is doing is hurting you.

  2. admin says:

    To make him choose you over his current gf, become the most important girl in his life. This means spending more time with him where it’s just the two of you. If it’s meant to be, he’ll choose to leave his current girlfriend to be with you.

  3. if were both in a relationship says:

    we’ve been friends for six years, in that six years of friendship i never felt the feelings i have for him right now.. we are both in a relationship, but i know that i can leave my bf just to be with him. what is the right thing to do for him to like me as well??

  4. This is so accurate says:

    So I had to come leave a comment, because I was just re-reading this article for the millionth time trying to get my friend to fall for me. I decided to just be myself and if that wasn’t what he wanted then he wasn’t the one for me. I must have done something right considering he kissed me. Thank you!!

  5. atooppinen iho says:

    It is really hard to make your best friend confess cause there is a lot of consequences when it happen but then it is a good tips that you share it.

  6. admin says:

    Hi Reah08, the greatest danger is to give the impression that you’re trying to hard. You don’t need to TRY to be his ideal girl; perhaps you already are, just by being yourself. You already held hands with him before, which means he definitely had feelings for you. Let the intimacy develop naturally and it will be undeniable that if you desire it to be, the two of you will be an item.

  7. Reah08 says:

    Hey,i have this Guy Best friend,we became close friends last year,we spend most of the time together,we tell our secrets to each other,got detention together (clichè i know) then sometimes we hold each others hand,until i fall for him,alot of my mates said ‘we could be a cute couple etc. Etc.’ then i told him i like him!the best part of it is that he told my other friend that he likes me too just a little, Then after that we dont speak to each other for a week until i cant resist it and i told him i was sorry,then we became best friends again,until this day,we still do stuff together (my girl best friend like him but now she move back to canada :( ) until a one year younger girl came and like him,i got jealous and stuff i told him ‘ugh shes like a dumbass she spend alot of money just to get you and notice her…if i were you i would never like her’ i told him that cause i dont want him falling for her!now i did what you said,i did the eye contact thing and i think its working! ^-^ it leads us to some kind of good convo. And make us more closer,now how can i tell he likes me back too and think i’m an ideal gf? Pls helpp

  8. ryanica says:

    I know him since childhood. But few years before i fell for him… i dont know why and how! when i told this to some of my close friends they adviced me to move on, instead of confessing anything to him. But i dont think it is possible, i have tried.. i know he is not the best guy, he has flaws, he is rude at times but i cant see anyother guy more sensible and warm then he is. Now it has been 3 years that we are best friends. He knows that i love him more than anything on earth (I dint tell, through friends). But when friends usually tell him this, he either tries to change the topic or says ” I dont see her that way. She is the best girl i have ever met, getting in a relation with her would make me lose my bestie as well as my gf.. and i cant afford that.”
    Thinking of this always makes me step back..and i fail to tell him..because it too hard on my side also to do the same. But how long will it go like this.. Now its like..i cant resist anymore! We are the closest person to each other, we talk every day, We meet everyday, we fight everyday, the next moment we laugh at each other, but I cant show him how much he means to me, how much i love him, life would be a real disaster in his absence!!

    please help!! I have to do something by the end of this month, otherwise it will be too late!! :(

    • admin says:

      Hi Ryanica. He would be such a lucky to have a girlfriend who loves him so much! It looks as though you’re on the verge of having a relationship with him, but fear is holding you both back. But let me tell you, if the next step isn’t taken, you may lose each other anyway! stuff happens in life, and unless there’s commitment people get separated one way or another. i know it sounds cliché, but the biggest risk is to do nothing at all because it would mean you both lose be default. you need to take the chance, express your feelings and take the relationship to the next level. some things in life are all or nothing, and love is one of them. when i read what you wrote about him, i was really really moved… so speak your heart to him, tell him directly how you feel… i know it takes a huge amount of courage, but it’s better than the alternative: lifelong regret.

  9. Marie ann says:

    I told my bestest guy friend I liked him and he said he felt the same way but didn’t want to ruin our friendship.. What do I do with that?

    • admin says:

      hello Marie. He obviously cherishes his friendship with you but is afraid of taking the next step. you have planted the seed in his mind of having a relationship with you, and now he probably needs a bit of time to let the idea grow in his mind. you can help it along the way by the way you dress, and creating situations where it’s just the two of you. remember, guys are not as good as girls when it comes to expressing their feelings with words alone – many relationships start when the guy takes the girls hand, or with a kiss.

  10. admin says:

    first of all, you showed a lot of courage by confessing to him and you were rewarding by knowing that he shares the same feelings. you asked how to make him like you again. well, he probably stills likes you! but he might feel that you were pressuring him into a relationship, and this kind of pressure from girls makes guys RUN. so I recommend that you don’t force him to answer the question. instead, just have great times with him like you did before. you both know you have feelings for each other, so if you’re spending a lot of time together and he doesn’t feel pressured, it WILL happen :)

  11. cry99 says:

    So like I already told my guy best friend that I like him and he told me tht he shared the same feelings…that was bak in November.. I ask him if we would ever be more than best friends he said that he didnt want to ruin our friendship and that hed also love to and tht was at the beginning of February.. I asked him if he still likes me and he still wont answer my question.. how do I get him to like me again?

  12. erica says:

    Help guys my best friend likes me as a friend before he use to defend me a lot but now just some times and he use to tell me his secrets but now he hardly speaks to me tell me now what is his problem its like he does not trust me anymore and its only been a year and he has change a lot because before I like him as a friend but now I like him like a fat kid loves cake ! Help me please

    • admin says:

      dear erica, in some ways, guys are strong, but in other ways, especially when it comes to love and emotions, they get afraid very easily! so he probably knows that you like him, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it so he shys away from you.

  13. Deborah says:

    I was in the relationship with the guy i ever loved in my whole life and the time he want to have sex with me,on my side i was not ready.So he ask me if he can find a girl with benefits and i said yes without knowing what will happen.Then the time i was ready and we had sex but he told me he is in love with that girl and wants us to b best friend, but on my side i just agree but i cant do it i am trying but i still love him so much.Tel me what should i do to make him not seen me as best pal buy as my boyfriend?

  14. Bubbles says:

    This is actually tHe first time I am ever telling another soul about this… I told my female best friend already and she understands but she has no advice. My guy best friend (doesn’t like me calling him that because it sounds like I am putting him in the friend zone) …..told me that he is dating a girl back home… I don’t totally believe that anyways… And he said I am not in his friend zone either…that we should not put a tag on the kinda relatiinship we have…but I would marry this guy if he asks me tomorrow if he asks…but he doesn’t know that. I broke off a wierd relationship with a guy I still love so that he would be free to ask me… There are three guys in my life that i have known for like forever and I feel knots for one… A flutter for the other and a flurry of flutters for the one I am talking about… Idk if he even likes me in that way let alone want to date or marry me. I wouldn’t date or marry me either… I am that pathetic so don’t be wondering why I am saying such about myself.

  15. Bubbles says:

    This is actually tHe first time I am ever telling another soul about this… I told my female best friend already and she understands but she has no advice. My guy best friend (doesn’t like me calling him that because it sounds like I am putting him in the friend zone) …..told me that he is dating a girl back home… I don’t totally nelieve that anyways… And he said I am not in his fruend zone either…that we should not put a tag on the kinda relatiinship we have…but I would marry this guy if he asks me tomorrow if he asks…but he doesn’t know that. I broke off a wierd reltionship with a guy I still love so that he would be free to aks me… There are three guys in my life that i have known for like forever and I feel knots for one… A fluttee fir the ither and a flurry of flutters for the one I am talking about… Idk if he even likes me in that way let alone want to date or marry me. I wouldn’t date or marry me either… I am that pathetic so don’t be wondering why I am saying such about myself.

  16. Bubbles says:

    This is actually tHe first time I am ever telling another soul about this… I told my female best friend already and she understands but she has no advice. My guy bwst friend (doesn’t like me calling him that because it soumds like I am putting him in the friend zone) …..told me that he is dating a girl back home… I don’t totally nelieve that anyways… And he said I am not in his fruend zone either…that we should not put a tag on the kinda relatiinship we have…but I would marry this guy if he asks me tomorrow if he asks…but he doesn’t know that. I broke off a wierd reltionship with a guy I still love so that he would be free to aks me… There are three guys in my life that i have known for like forever and I feel knots for one… A fluttee fir the ither and a flurry of flutters for the one I am talking about… Idk if he even likes me in that way let alone want to date or marry me. I wouldn’t date or marry me either… I am that pathetic so don’t be wondwrinf why I a km saying such about myself.

  17. lissa says:

    Me and this Guy “s” used to like eachother but my bestfriend at the time liked him so like a good friend should, i backed off. I completely regret it cause he didn’t like her that way but still liked me. We kissed., i felt like a bad friend to my best friend so i told him that can’t happen again cause my best friend likes you, he understood. As time went on he got a girl friend and we actually became really good friends. When he broke up with his girl friend we became closer friends. I kinda still like him but i don’t think he still likes me like that cause when him and his gf were dating, me and his buddy hooked up a couple of times. But me and that Guy are done hooking up. “S” even asked if i was done with his friend, and when i said yes, he said “good.” So I’m really confused and really want him cause feelings that i used yo have for him came rushing back and i want him to feel the same way to me. Help!!

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  20. sophia says:

    I’ve already told him how I feel

  21. sophia says:

    My best guy froend said he loves me like a sister but Ifeel different I love him like more then a brother he said if we weren’t best friends then he would probly date me help what do I do

  22. che says:

    What if he hands around alot of girls? Also what if he shows no reaction of begin your best friend how to you still make you like him

  23. juju says:

    Us gfs get jealous at times when we should not be. In my opinion I would be the best friend. Well I am. Unless you’ve known him fo at least two years I would not tell. Then hell get the idea in his head. If he asks u out say you’ll think about it then say yes if u feel the same. This will make the relationship last LONG. Most best friends get married in the case of being a Guy and girl. BTW I got these sources from experience.I’m 11 YEARS

  24. juju says:

    Us gfs get jealous at times when we should not be. In my opinion I would be the best friend. Well I am. Unless you’ve known him fo at least two years I would not tell. Then hell get the idea in his head. If he asks u out say you’ll think about it then say yes if u feel the same. This will make the relationship last LONG. Most best friends get married in the case of being a Guy and girl. BTW I got these sources from experience.

  25. HilRy says:

    I’m 10 I have a on and off bf people say it’s not real but he’s kissed me we’ve been to the movies I mean he’s 12 I’m 10 but who cares we oviousky both have feeling for each other but the first day of school I broke up with him so he started liking my BFF that’s wat I thought until his twin told me he’s using her to get back to me but I still luv him but I can’t say I mean every test that we took for love always said were in the 90 pls help

  26. Kylie says:

    I like all the advice ya give here. I do like one of my guy friend, will i think i do and he seem nice to me and we do talk if i go to him of course. I’m just to scared, how to tell him i have this feeling for him. Actually i have a bf and recently i told my guy friend that i will ask my bf to have break time.. then he said to me that ” don’t bring this to me” i don’t know what that mean.. does he think is it cause of him, or he don’t have feeling for me, so he won’t feel bad, i really need advice about it, please answer me back.

    Thanks and continue this is amazing dating web site (:

  27. rachel says:

    when i approched my best friend he told me that he feels the same and he loves me .. but he wont go out with me as he said he doesnt want to ruin our relasonship cause im too special for him .. thats what he said .. so what to do now ? !

  28. Deedee says:

    we’re best friends but like it’s complicated
    we talk almost every single day for hours; we skype now because we’re in different countries for the summer so i’m not sure how to get him to fall for me..
    we dont want to lose each other but still i can’t stop the fact that i have feelings for him more than just a “guy best friend”
    i mean we talk about almost everything…he tells me everything/anything on his mind and he’s direct
    and i don’t know what to do to make him realize that he means more to me..
    he’s the only guy i could trust and go back to talk about anything

    i mean i get jealous out of my mind when he talks about other girls and can’t stand seeing him with any other girl friends
    I’m lost…i need help with this
    and i don’t want to confess because im too scared to go thru past heart aches because of guy issues..

  29. Nicki says:

    But , what if you told him how you feel and he likes yuou back but he said he don’t wanna ruin the reltionship? Like he told me he has people to talk about drama and girls but i’m the only one he can tell everything to ? He told me about his whole life that not even his family or his other bestfriend knows ! ? Helpp !

  30. jf says:

    let me help a little more. in the same situation reverse the sex, dont let the cloths be to skimpy and sexy, at that point your selling yourself as mostly an object he could pull the “sex buddy” attempt or friends with benefits and we like that A LOT. Find a subtle in between. on Furthermore, after we break up with a gf lead us into everything you, then break the news if you want to, because at that point your the only person we see. Get it.

    Now, the situation is reversed here, someone tell me how to let my best gf know I love her

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